Negative thoughts, go away

This blog is has become an avenue where I thrash my thoughts cos I don’t think many people suscribe to it anyway.

Lol.

Sometimes I really feel unwanted. The phrase 无事不蹬三宝店 is so apt. People don’t think of you when you’re not of use. When they knock at your doorstep, you know something is required out of you.

I really really really don’t want to feel this way.

Take for example. I have 2 best friends but they seem to be so preoccupied at times that I’m just “discarded” at the back of their heads. Come on, dropping me a text or giving me a ring takes only 5 minutes at most.

Then I try to take initiative. Gets rejected most of the time due to their schedule. Ayah, this is perplexing.

Dear God, I am angsty. Why do they matter to me? should I put less importance on them? Are friends just people who have fun with you? Where are the promises? Do they fade with time?

Im really getting cynical. Its growing with age. I used to reject what my parents said. Friends are temporary. They wouldnt last. Is that true God?

Who understands me? I dont really confide these feelings cos I’d feel vulnerable and open, and I need to feel absolutely protected when I share.

I long to feel wanted, feel loved, feel that I’m of help, feel that Im important.

Why? beneath the happy, hopeful self is an empty shell of what used to be.

Please, If you are there oh Lord, answer my cries, and give me an answer to all these. Satisfy my longings and make me whole again.

Birthday afterthoughts

I’ve had the best party in my life. Though it was just a small scale event, I’m sure everyone felt the warmth and coziness when we’re gathered together.

My heartfelt thanks go out to Siang Hui, Matthew, Cynthia, Alan, Jinyi and Caleb for lending me a hand in both planning and executing this party. It was an overwhelming success.

I felt loved by my friends and family. In retrospect, I’m glad that they’re so intricately weaved into my life. I’m richer not just by material gifts but I value more on the fountain of relationships.

Photos of the event can be found in the URL provided below:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=116381&id=672086995

For those who cant access the pictures do drop me a comment or sms. I’d be more than happy to let you bask in the fun we had.

As quoted from the tagline in Cynthia’s album, “Friends are God’s gift” . I pray that I’d never take anyone for granted, because when God gives, God also has the rights to take it away from you. Cherish the people who left a footprint down your memory lane.

10 years, 20 years, 100 years later, I know we’d be linked in our hearts till forever, even when God calls us home to him. We’d meet in heaven! Thats a promise. -Chris, to the 2 whom I still cherish so much. =)